


A Heart's a Heavy Burden

by calli0pec0re



Series: Iclonia Foretold [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Double Drabble, Drabble, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Introspection, Mild Angst, Mutual Pining, Realizations, dnd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29865837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calli0pec0re/pseuds/calli0pec0re
Summary: Kaen and Tempest are both looking for themselves, in different ways.Kaen wants to know who he was.Tempest wants to know who she is.Maybe, they can find the answers in each other, in a place they never would have expected.Love was never something either of them expected.And yet, love was fire, and pining, and the girl with a galaxy in her eyes.
Relationships: Kaen/Tempest, OC/OC
Series: Iclonia Foretold [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2207469
Kudos: 2





	1. Kaen

From the moment Kaen woke up, surrounded by a burning village and chaos and death, with no memory of how he got there or who he was, he knew he was meant to be alone.

And it wasn’t like he cared about that. He couldn’t remember having friends, or a partner for that matter, so what was there to miss?

All he could remember was the blaze.

The pyre surrounding him when he awoke. The orange flecks of ash rising up in the air, before disappearing, as if they had never existed in the first place. The burning, and the heat, hotter than hell itself. The flickering colors, red and orange and white, dancing right before his very eyes.

And it felt like home to him.

Kaen had wandered aimlessly, ever since the moment he woke up. He didn’t know exactly what he was looking for. But, he had come to recognize the hate filled eyes that followed him as he walked past. The wary glances of people around him. Like at any moment he would tear them apart. He was used to the caution, and the side eyes, and people never letting him get too close. He didn’t care.

When the ruler of Iclonia sent out for him specifically to partake in a quest, he was confused, and less than thrilled. But, he accepted the invitation regardless. He was in no place to decline that much gold, and, the ruler was offering up quite a lot of it.

The day he appeared at the palace, he was met with many faces. 

He had never been the best with names. 

He met the annoying mushroom, the orange dwarf, the pale lady, the elf and the edgier elf, and the pink lizard.

And, the girl with galaxies in her eyes.

The small girl had pale blue skin, and wore simplistic clothes. She had bandages trailing up and down her arms and legs, and a brown satchel draped over her shoulder that rested on her hip. A long, thin tail stretched behind her, with tufts of hair at the end. She had messy cobalt blue hair that covered one of her eyes. But the one eye that was visible, literally held an entire galaxy in it. It looked like an entire nebula, trapped under a thin layer of glass. He found it hard to look away.

And she _smiled_ at him.

She didn’t look at him like she was afraid, or cower and edge away. She smiled, wide and friendly, and stuck her hand out for him to shake. Like she was truly happy to meet him. Kaen had taken her small hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, causing the little blue lady to grow flushed in her embarrassment. Her voice cracked as she insisted they had wasted enough time, and needed to get this show on the road. Kaen marveled, for a moment, about this girl. She was sickeningly sweet, and poetically naive. She would be a perfect target. But, he put that thought to the side. 

As the party started to travel together, Kaen had noticed the way the girl beheld everything in a sort of childlike wonder. He remembered her saying she had never left her home village before, so that sort of explained it. Every pretty flower, every animal they came across, caused her to react with a sort of astonishment and glee. She would sit down, and start to write in this little leather-bound journal she took everywhere with her. (Kaen always tried to peek over her shoulder and read what she was writing, but she guarded that old thing very closely.)

Kaen thought often about how easy it would be to kill her. How small, and fragile she was. It was something he was ashamed of. But he knew the girl could never stand a chance against him, if he did choose to try something

One day, he had picked the girl off the ground, and pulled her in for a hug. A very tight hug. He thought about it long and hard, how he wanted to squeeze her until he heard her spine snap underneath the pressure of his strong arms. But, before he got very far in his attempt on her life, he felt two small arms wrap around his neck, and a head rest on his shoulder. He wasn’t prepared for that. That small action caused him to set the girl down immediately, and begin to walk away.

That marked the day something in him had changed.

Kaen had never been the most observant guy on the block. But, he noticed things about the girl with the galaxy in her eyes. 

He noticed how she acted when she was excited. She would jump up and down and flap her hands, and she would squeal and thump her tail against the ground. How she would take her tail in her hands and play with it when she was nervous. She had a slight buck tooth, too, but you could only see it if she was laughing. How she had freckles, and a birthmark on the side of her face that almost looked like a star. How her eyelashes sat against her cheek when she had her eyes closed, or how she’d hum when she was trying to concentrate. Or her eyes, he was always brought back to her eyes. He had noticed that they would change color often. Like the stars held in that galaxy were constantly dying and being reborn. 

And, her name.

He always gave people stupid nicknames to cover up the fact that he didn’t remember their name.

But he knew hers.

Tempest.

He didn’t know why he remembered it so clearly. Maybe it was because he found it funny, and ironic.

A tempest was a storm. A violent typhoon, leaving chaos and destruction in its wake.

And Tempest was anything but that.

Tempest was small, meek, and timid, and she stuttered if you said hi when she wasn’t expecting you to. She wasn’t violent, and she didn’t bring chaos and destruction with her. She was sweet, and loving, and smiled when you called for her. 

But, that didn’t make her weak. Kaen had come to recognize that. Tempest was a skilled spellcast, and could bring enemies to their knees with a wave of her staff. And she never let her friends drop too low in health. 

Kaen had started paying far more attention to Tempest. As if he wasn’t already. Rather than just watching from afar, Kaen would interact with her. He started talking with her more, standing next to her, he sort of followed her around like a lost puppy. He picked her up and carried her without warning, and listened to her when she started rambling. Usually he thought people were annoying when they rambled like that, but her voice was pretty okay. So he didn’t yell at her to shut up when she started talking a lot. 

And, he started noticing even more about her, too. He didn’t even think that was possible. Her lips curled up when she smiled, and she had dimples on one side of her face, but not the other. Her palms were usually covered by her bandages, but her hands were small, and delicate. When she moved a little, he could see markings on her shoulder that he liked to call “secret freckles”. 

But what did all of this mean anyways? He didn’t know why he saw so many little things about her, when everybody else still looked normal to him.

It bugged him, it was annoying.

She was annoying.

No she wasn’t.

He needed someone to tell him what the fuck was wrong with him.

One night, when everyone was asleep except him and the edgy elf, that was when he decided to ask about it. He and the elf were seated by a fire, the rest of their friends curled up in sleeping bags near them. 

“Hey. I need you to tell me something,” Kaen had said, more like a demand than a question. The drow would look at him with intrigue. Kaen wasn’t usually one to talk unless it was a snarky comeback, or an insult.

“Yeah? What’s up man?” Geotia asked in return. Kaen seemed to struggle for a moment. 

“What the fuck is the deal with Tempest? You see it too right?” he finally spat out, furrowing his eyebrows. Geo looked startled.

“The… Deal? With her? There’s nothing weird about her. I don’t see anything.” he was looking at the Kitsune like he was nuts. Kaen groaned.

“Don’t mess with me, you have to notice, right? How she’s so…” Kaen gestured vaguely with his hands. “She’s different. Different from you, and the mushroom, and the lizard, and everybody else here.” Geo paused, thinking for a moment, before he laughed a bit.

“That’s what this is about? Kaen, you’re in love with her.” 

Kaen arched an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side.

“What the fuck is ‘in love’? What’s that mean?” 

Geo couldn’t do anything but stare at him again. Wasn’t Kaen older than he was? How’d he not know-? Well, there’s no way to help it but explain love to him, is there?

“Love is a feeling. It’s like… It’s when your chest tightens up, and your head feels light around her. Does that happen?” Kaen paused, before slowly nodding. 

“Right, it’s that. And you asked if I ‘saw it’? Well, when you love someone, you notice little things about them, no matter how tiny.” Kaen gave a small “oh” of understanding. 

“And it’s wanting them to be happy and safe. Like how you pick her up all the time and let her talk about whatever.” 

That sounded accurate to Kaen. So he loved her? He knew what that was now, at least, but he didn’t know why it was significant, or why it even mattered.

So he chalked it up to her being special.

Because she was. 

Tempest was an incredibly special girl. 

Kaen had dismissed Geo, and gone to bed that night without really thanking him. Typical of him. 

He knew he was right, about everything he said. The strange, fuzzy feeling. The observations. The wanting to make sure she felt okay. That much was pretty clear to him. 

He had been searching for as long as he could remember, for something. Some part of who he was in the past. Some hint or inkling about what he couldn’t remember.

Maybe Tempest was the missing piece.

Not to his past, but to his future.

And, maybe, Kaen was okay with that.


	2. Tempest

The waiting was torturous.

The endless, suffocating silence that came with the waiting.

Tempest had grown accustomed to waiting.

She had been waiting a long, long time. Since she was very young, when she asked her father why he looked so different from her. When he told her that he saved her from the evil monsters that were her parents. And she had no reason to doubt him. From a young age, Tempest had internalized the idea that she too was a monster.

Since then, the young girl had done everything she could to find out exactly  _ what _ kind of monster she was. 

But, she could never seem to find a face that matched her own description.

As she aged, she became the delivery girl to her small human town, a town she was painfully aware she would never truly belong in. And the girl lost herself in stories and study. At the same time she would teach herself spells and incantations, Tempest spent all her free time reading tales and adventures. She grew to love daring adventurers and tales of grandeur. It filled something in her. This aching, gaping hole of unknowing would be satiated with each new story. At least, for a little while.

But it would never be enough, and Tempest knew that.

She wanted more from her life.

Perhaps that’s why she jumped so quickly when her presence was requested by the high ruler themself.

It took a week for her to convince her father to let her go. 

When she first arrived at the palace, Tempest was left in awe. Excitement surged through her like a live electric wire. This was the farthest she had ever been from her hometown, and she still had ever farther to go. Finally, she had the opportunity to go on the escapade of a lifetime.

She was introduced to many different people, and she was enthusiastic to meet all of them.

Fraise, the Radiant Dragonborn. Loraxi, the Grey Dwarf. Geotia, the Grimdark Drow. Aloc, the Mushroomcap Genasi. Ace, the elf.

But one person struck her more than the others.

Kaen, the Kitsune.

He had pure white hair, a tattered black shirt, and pale skin. He had white ears, and nine bushy tails that probably took up more than half of his own space. His eyes were a dark red.

When she introduced herself, he had looked her up and down. And his expression was almost bewildered for a moment. She nearly pulled her hand back, and apologized, when he grabbed her hand and kissed it. Tempest felt her entire face heat up. She jerked her hand back, letting out a flustered laugh out of obligation, and took a step or two backwards. She mentioned that they’d need to get going soon, as they’d wasted enough time introducing themselves, and they had a job to do. But she was well aware how shaky her voice sounded as she stated that.    
  


And so, the party would set off together. In everything she found, Tempest would discover something new and beautiful and exciting. Everything around her filled with a sort of joy and awe she had never experienced before. She had never left her hometown. This was fresh, new, and invigorating. 

Multiple times a day, Tempest would sit down in order to jot something down in her little journal. She kept it as a sort of autobiography of her travels, all her feelings on her adventures. 

She wrote about each of her new friends in extensive detail, actually.

She wrote about how Aloc could shoot hallucinogenic spores from the mushroom on her head. How Loraxi grew orange hair all over because of a rare skin condition. She talked to all of them somewhat often, and had learned all sorts of little things about them.

Except for one.

When it came time for her to write Kaen’s page, the only thing she had at the top of her paper was his name, scribbled out quickly, then a blot at the end where ink welled up from her quill pressed to the paper as she thought.

What did she know about Kaen?

The realization that she didn’t really know anything about him other than he had a temper seemed to bug her. And so, Tempest made it her personal mission to learn more about Kaen.

_ Day 1 of getting to know Kaen. _

_ I still know as much about the Kitsune on my team as when he first introduced himself to me. So, I’ve decided a wise choice would be to try as hard as I can to befriend him, and get to know him. _

_ Day 5 of Getting to know Kaen. _

_ He still ignores me when I speak and won’t make eye contact with me. I wonder if I’ve done something wrong? I don’t know what it could have been but I’m sure I messed things up somehow.  _

_ Day 12 of getting to know Kaen. _

_ He hugged me today! I was so caught off guard, but he picked me off the ground and hugged me! I don’t understand why, to be perfectly honest here. He and I have never had more than one conversation after all. But, that has to count for progress right? I think that I’m beginning to get somewhere with him! _

_ Day 20 of getting to know Kaen.  _

_ He’s finally started talking to me!! I’m overjoyed!!! He doesn’t really speak very much, aside from back talking and sarcastic comments. And insults, he had quite an ear for unique insults. Aloc hears most of them from him, but I don’t recall him ever turning one on me, which is a little peculiar. _

Tempest would continue to write in her little journal as she befriended Kaen more and more. The more time they spent together, the more things she found about him to talk about. But she never let him peek in her journal. He tried hard to, as well, he seemed to want to read it very badly.

But what would he do if he saw her writing pages and pages about him? More than half of her book was documentation about her progress befriending him. Would he find her weird? Would he want her to stop? No, she couldn’t let him read all the different things she had said about him, she would come across as a weirdo. And so, Tempest contented herself with writing, never letting him see what she had put down.

Tempest and Kaen had grown together like a magnet. It was nearly impossible to pry the two of them apart. Tempest admired him so. He didn’t patronize her, or treat her like she was less than he was, even though she would understand if he did. He let her talk for ages upon ages, and never seemed to interrupt her. (Though she found it easy to tell when he was getting antsy. She would stop whenever he started tapping his foot on the ground and twitching his right ear.)

One day, they had been walking, when Tempest tripped. The bandage on her left arm had come undone. Before she had time to process, Kaen was right there. When he went to help her fix the bandage, though, his eyes rested a long time on healing gashes and deep scars trailing both sides of her arms. He had looked up at her as she jerked her hand back. 

“I can fix it myself, Kaen.” The girl whispered. Kaen didn’t take that for an answer. He held her bandage away from her as she reached for it and looked at him pleadingly.

“Kaen, please, I—“

“Who gave you those.” Judging by his tone, Tempest could tell it wasn’t a question. She pursed her lips, and averted her eyes, sighing heavily.

“Sometimes my dad just gets angry, that’s all, it’s my fault anyways and—“ she was cut off by the feeling of arms pulling her in tight once again. This marked the second time Kaen had truly hugged her. This time felt genuine. She could feel his break on her neck, and his fingers clutching at her shirt.

“Don’t take his shit. Don’t. I’ll fuck him up if he messes with you again, alright?” Kaen would say as he drew from the hug. Before Tempest had time to protest, Kaen grabbed her hand again. As he pulled her arm forward, he pressed a kiss to her wrist, and began to help her redo her bandages.

That was when Tempest had come to quite a conclusion. She felt her heart drop to her stomach as the thought crossed her mind. 

It came out of nowhere. When Kaen kissed her wrist, Tempest had the urge to leap forward and kiss him right then and there. The thought made her shake in fear, confusion, and guilt. Fear at the feelings. In her 19 years of living, Tempest had thought many times about having someone to kiss. But there was never a face in her mind.

A blank slate had been replaced with Kaen.

That night, Tempest went to her journal.

_ Befriending the Kitsune Rogue has taken quite a turn. One I had never expected.  _

_ I’ve fallen in love with him. _

_ And I only just realized it today. _

_ I don’t know what to do about it, or how to handle these feelings. They all came crashing down at once, and they’re so overwhelming. I’ve only read of love in storybooks, I’ve read it enough to know the feeling. But imagery and metaphors, no matter how clever, can’t begin to compare to the real thing. I see that now. Isn’t that insanity? I’ve spent so long yearning for someone to love, just so I would know the feeling. But this is almost too much.  _

_ But he’s so wonderful. I mean that with every bit of me. My trusted notebook, you contain everything there is I know about Kaen. But there’s so much more to it now that I’m thinking of it. He’s stubborn, and reckless. He rushes into danger without a second thought. That bravery, that ambition, is incredible. He talks to each of his tails as if they’re alive, he’s even given all of them names. It’s such a strange character quirk, but I find it so oddly endearing. He scrunches up his nose when he’s upset. He holds me, as well, like I’m made of porcelain. When he picks me up and carries me around, there’s this air of delicacy I’ve never noticed him use with anyone else. There’s kindness under his harsh gaze, and I’ve seen it. His eyes burn like fire. They’re a deep red, almost the color of mahogany. But when the sun hits them just so, they shine and glimmer like the most beautiful rubies.  _

_ It seems that love has turned me into a poet. _

Tempest would look up from her writing as the fire crackled. She turned her head to the rest of her sleeping companions.

She was rather bad at lookout, wasn’t she? She had gotten lost in writing, she had no clue what time it was.

Her eyes landed on Kaen, slowly. And her eyes softened. He looked uncharacteristically peaceful when he was asleep. The soft glow of the fire illuminated his features. 

And Tempest’s eyes grew sad, as she turned back to her journal.

_ I love him, but I will never have him.  _

_ I don’t deserve him.  _

_ When I look at him, I see everything I could ever want and need. And, yet, I am… A monster. There isn’t another creature in the world like me, or I would have read of it. I am an abomination, an amalgamation of disgusting genes, passed down from beasts. How could he ever find it within him to want me? He never will, I’m sure of that. And yet, here I sit, writing and longing for a boy I know that I will never have. _

_ I am selfish. _


End file.
